Saturday, February 15, 2014

Suffering will lead us to Eternal Glory!

By the time i met my wife both of us had already stop practicing our faith. we would soon discover that the would turn to bite us down the road. the first five yrs of our marriage were horrible. there was a lot of anger, mistrust, no respect, lack of love, lack of appreciation and so much more. what is more sad is that i was at fault seventy percent of the time. often i would ask my self why am i going thru this, or why is god doing this to my wife and i. sometimes i would had pray to god but with a lack of love and respect and appreciation for who he is. so need less to say i felt that my prayer went on unanswered. there was good days and bad days, however the bad days out weight the good ones.

around that time of great suffering and depression in our life's. some how or some way we found Joel osteen on television and right away we were hook. i remember that back then we started it to listen to him and the advice he would give in regards to suffering. it would help us and give us some sort of relief to know that we could make it. that the suffering would soon come to pass because god did not wanted his children to suffer and that our suffering was caused by our separation from god and once we were reunited to god we would never suffer. i cant say for sure if back then i taught of going back to church or not. but i know we did not went back to church yet despite all the suffering that was going on. but even then i remember feeling that Joel's message was lacking something else that it was not complete regarding suffering but i couldn't tell what it was.

then finally by the grace of god an opportunity that i had been looking for opened up. to relocate the whole family from beautiful and sunny San Diego 75 degree weather to the not so beautiful but more homie weather of 105 degree summer day and mid 30s winter in the San Joaquin valley and i took it. i grew up in the valley and i couldn't wait to go back. thank god my wife followed me and we made the move. sometime after living here in San Joaquin valley we started it to attend our local parish church. i don't know the exact day and and all the fine details but thanks be to Jesus we started it to go faithfully on Sundays and never look back. but it was only until i return back home to the catholic church that i fully grasp what i was missing regarding suffering in our life's. it was then that i learn and realize why holly mother church teaches so much about suffering and why she protects it as well.

no body likes suffering believe me including me. i complaint a lot, i am a cry baby when it comes to suffering. it does not matter if its something big or small, it does not matter if i scrape my arm or if i get a flat tire on the way to work. i complaint about it and i lift my eyes to heaven and ask god WHY? we all have question and even god mad at god when that favorite family member passes away so rapidly without a single sign that she or he was in critical health condition.

the holy scriptures talk a lot about suffering. we suffer because we are sinners and it is just that we suffer to pay for our sins. we suffer because Christ suffer for us and die for us and it is just and necessary that we too suffer with him. we suffer because thru gods grace and our suffering we are sanctifying our self's before god and we are able to walk away from the sins that separate our self's from god. we suffer because we don't want to follow god the father as he has asks us to do so. we suffer because we don't want to learn from our mistakes. we suffer because thru suffering we can call our self's gods own children because thru our suffering we grow into a special relationship with the father, because thanks to the suffering we can finally begin to understand and appreciate the special sacrifice god the father did when he gave us his only begotten son. so that we may not perish in sin but have eternal life if it is our choosing. because we must make a choice to spend our ethereal life on heaven or in the fire that will never stop and will forever torture our souls as a fair and just punishment for separating our self's from gods love and presence and obedience thru the son and the holy spirit.

holy mother church teaches us that we must accept everything that we receive from god thru our daily bread regardless of how the suffering is in our life's. with out questioning god or getting mad at him, with out turning away from him. that we must also accept our suffering with a smile on our face from ear to ear. we must also accept and offered our suffering to that of Christ for the good of the world and his church. for example when we suffer we offered up our suffering to Christ and he in turn uses it to heal spiritually or physically someone somewhere.

this is one of the thousand reasons why I'm so grateful to god for giving us his church were suffering is not something we want to run away from but it is being taught to embrace it fully and gracefully. suffering is like a passing storm that will drop rain on the people, if we are not ready with our buckets to catch the rain the storm will be a waste of time. however if we are ready and we can catch all the rain we can, we can in turn use that water to nourish other fields were the fruits Will be plenty for the good off the world and Christ church. Christ has called each and everyone one of us to suffer and thanks to the suffering our faith, hope, love, patience, perseverance, strength, wisdom and respect will grow and when we grow we can finally love our neighbor as Christ told us to do so.

it is not easy to look at suffering in this way, as i said it before we don't like suffering including me. but i want to look at suffering this way and i need to try and practice to suffer this way. because only then i can truly truly be grateful to god for all the blessings i have receive in my life.


Carlos Napoles

servant of jesus thru mary his blessed mother.

Saturday, November 2, 2013


God is Awesome! what a great title to start my newest blog and you will see as you read thru it, why i make that statement. First of all Thank You Jesus! for all the blessings received. Its has been a while since i wrote my last blog. a lot has change since and i thank Jesus for it all. I am now teaching the teens in my parish catechism to prepared them for their first communion. i have a new job and its going great i am getting more hours and have notice that i am more stress free! thank you Jesus!

The last few months have been a roller coaster ride to say the least, i have been feeling down a lot in my faith. struggling to trust Jesus that He in the end had a better plan for me. you see im like many of you. when i struggle i expect Jesus to come and rescue me right away. its almost like a 911 syndrome. im in trouble and i called LORD, LORD come and help me and i expect Jesus to come walking in my life right there and then and save me and He does not. At least i think or believe in those moments that He doesn't. But i know better He is always with me. I know its a cliche right we all here, God loves you, God is always with you, God wants you, etc etc. I think that the reality is that we have heard this so much and we continue to hear it that it almost looses its meaning. So we tend not to care about it as much as we should. My self included it.

But what i have learn so many times is that EMMANUEL Is With Us. God is truly with us, during happy times as well as difficult times. It becomes hard, difficult, confusing or frustrating that we struggle and we continue to struggle perhaps with the same issue/s or different and it seems that we can never catch a break. But if we struggle is because our own faults, Not Gods. We struggle because we make everyday decisions that separate us from God more and more. We don't realize how far from God are we till we struggle. How much we need God in our life's and How great is His love for us. In my life for example, we have been struggling financially for a while now. Perhaps about a year now, to the point were things got really really unconformable, we were borrowing money trying to make things work. The lack of work made it, even more stressful because it became more and more difficult to pay back what we had borrow the week before or so. To the point that we were behind in all of our bills. I threw the towel so many times and was mad and angry. Not so much at God but at my self for not seeing Gods plan for me. You see the year before this struggle i had gotten a few job opportunities without me looking. People were coming to me asking me to come work for them. Now don't get me wrong, i am not saying im superman at my job, but i am a pretty decent worker so i guess words gets around. But without knowing that were going to struggle so much financially i passed on those opportunities thinking naah. We are ok at work, yes we are slow but things are going to turn around. But they did not and so the struggle began.

But thru it all we continue to attend mass, continue to do prayers. But i have to say my prayers became shorter and shorter. I would say things like, God help me today. Lord Help me find work. Lord help me put food in my table. etc etc. when before i could really spend time in prayer during this time i did not. which is the reason i stop writing as well. i couldn't get inspire to write, i just couldn't. But as they say after the rain the Sun shine comes and oh sure it did for me. I got a phone call from my current employer, asking if i would be interested in doing an interview with them. Now in my own foolishness, i sort of said yeah sure but did not follow on it. Thought about it for a couple of weeks or so and then decided to call them and do the interview. I have to say that was a huge Blessing in it self. After the interview right there and there i felt this is it. This is were God wants me to go and i have been in my new job for two months now. Thank You Jesus!

But i also have to give thanks to Jesus! for kicking my butt and showing me some of the path that He wants me to go on at least for now. You see one of my many short prayers to God has been, Lord show me what you want from me? Show me what direction you want me to take with my spiritual journey with you and like they said be careful what you ask for. Because you might get it. Well its true, i had somewhat consider that perhaps Jesus wanted me to teach others about HIM. Now i have no masters degree or any formal schooling. I have been learning our true and rich faith, thanks to my brother in Christ Rick Lentz from Rick and i have been going threw some materials that have help me a lot and he has been a great blessing as well. But when my priest ask me if i wanted to take on a class on my own teaching students preparation for their communion and i said Sure why not, so i did. I have to say i have great blessings all around me like my "compadres" ( co-parents ) Sergio, Odon, Juanita, Frank, Teo and his wife. All these people are now my sons and daughters godparents and they have been instrumental part of our life's and in my walk with Christ.

I love teaching my students, i know its only been two months but i absolutely love it. Its a big responsibility. One that perhaps i understand But not yet Fully Understand! I have to think about what i want to say to them and how to explain it. How to make the class fun and interesting and engage them to participate. I just dont want to teach them the faith i want them to be on fire for the faith. I want them to have Agape for Christ. so that one day they too can evangelize others. I want them to know what they have, who Jesus was and is for them. How much He loves them and wants them in heaven and so much more. I know this is only the begging of my walk with Christ, i know he has a lot more in store for me and perhaps on a smaller or bigger scale. I cannot wait till He reveals the rest of it.

Its going to take a while for our financial situation to become stable, we owe a lot. But the reality is that every day it becomes easier to give our worries to God and let Him take care of them. He always has, i am telling you. I can prove it, i just tend to panic and i don't see Him or feel Him. Jesus Love You! and He loves you with all the love in the world. Its impossible for us to grasp it but we must believe it. Because it is true. Trust on Jesus that He will help you, call on His name and don't let Him sleep. Bug him 24x7 with all your worries and anxieties and stress and difficulties. He can take them all, He really can!

But be prepare to make some changes in your life as well, just as we ask God to help us. We must also help our self's and come closer and closer to him. Other wise how can we expect to ask Jesus to help us if we are not Willing to love Him and walk with Him! Jesus did not promesses us that we were never going to suffer He did however promesses us that our suffering would be Joyful walking with Him!

Servant of Jesus thru Mary.

Carlos Napoles.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Many failures! Many disappointments. Much more blessings!

Many months have past since I last wrote. Many bad things have happens but much more blessings I have received then ever before. Like any good Christian CatholicI had set different goals in my prayer life and knowledge of Christ. And like many times over. Ill start strong. Listening to audio CDs on catholic apologetics. Watching videos. Reading catholic and Christian blogs. Doing Espiritual  exercising to help my faith grow.

 And a couple of weeks will go by and ill be on top of things. And then out of nowhere something will come about that will change everything. Work will be slow or none. Frustrating or challenging. Or something will happen in my house or with my family. And I'll have to shift my focus back to deal with a particular situation or person. In the meantime not realizing that I have lost my focus on god.   And before you know it I stop praying as much and then the feeling of being drain out kicks in. 

But not realizing how much more blessings I get every time. I have failed so many times. I have to confess that to you reading this blog. I am not proud of my sins. But I am happy that every time i have fallen I have managed to get up and  start up all over again. 

Every time I have fallen I have Learn something different about me. I have learn a different weakness and strength. Every time I have fallen and got up I have 
done it thru the grace of god and by the same grace i have left some part of my sinfulness nature behind me and thankfully some hard and difficult sins have become more and more easy to avoid and not commit or think about committing. 

Many people including yours truly. Had the mentally to say. Well I have fallen time and time again so what's the point to get up again. I can testify to you that Thru the blessed mother the Virgin Mary. I am changing little by little. Every time I fall I hear the blessed mother saying. Get up Jesus is waiting for you with his arms wide open. Watch come and see how much Jesus loves you. 

Yes I hate to fail!  Yes I get tired of trying an not succeeding! Yes I want an easy life! But it is not what in want. It's what jesus wants out of my life! 

I am very blessed to have my priest in my life. Father Jorge Dela Torre. Has taught me a lot about god and his word and his teachings. My mentor and personal friend. Rick Lentz from
Has been a great example To my life as a man
As a father. Husband. Disciple of Christ and a
Great catholic leader. 

And I can go on and on. I do have many things 
To be blessed for. And the only reason why is
That every time I have failed i have got up and 
Succeed In some kind of small way. 

So brothers and sisters reading this blog. When
You have fail. When you feel discourage and 
Wanting to quit. When all hope is gone. Remember 
god is always There. And two
You too could get up and try and try again. 

The path to heaven has been laid out for us. Thru
The ministry of the one true and holy and catholic
And apostolic church. Go bless you and your love


Carlos Napoles. 
Servant of Christ thru Mary! 


Monday, February 4, 2013

Love is Patitent!

hello brothers and sisters in Christ.

for my next piece i taught i share with you my thoughts on 1 cor chapter 13. the love passage i called it. we had this reading this past Sunday Feb 3 2013.

vs 4 to 7 Say's. "Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated,d 5it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,e 6it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things".

reading this verse but as well as reading the whole passage of chapter 13 we see that st Paul is trying to teach us what love is, how we must love each other as well as others. no matter if they are strangers or neigh boors, homeless or rich or poor.
i heard once a priest say that he used to ask young couples to describe what love was for them. some said that it was a chemical reaction. some said that it was a feeling. some said that it was an attraction for one another. some said that it was destiny....

then the priest would gone on to say, the following to each of the answers that were provided to him.

if love is a chemical reaction = be careful because it may explode.

if love is a feeling = be careful because feelings will die when the situation becomes tough,

if love is an attraction = be careful because you could be attracted to one thousand things that will lead you to sin and not to heaven so your soul will be on the line.

finally if love is a destiny = then what would you do when one of you guys passes away at a young age?

you see i too am guilty of this. i used to think that love was this that i just wrote. however the priest went on to explain that the theological virtue of love is. he would say that the theological definition of love was to love our spouses with all hearts and minds without waiting to received something in return as well as to assist them with living a life in accordance to god's law and good will. so that he may received them in heaven. but too often we look at love as a right, as a luxury or a thing to have so that we can be happy. but we don't want the bad, the ugly, the disappointments, heartaches, mistakes and so on. we just want what makes us feel good. that's how we look at love.
thru out my short time dating i used to look at love this way. it was until i meet my wife that i started to realized what love really is and what i need it to do as a men, father, husband to make sure that i can continue to cultivate the love and add all the things that love needs to continue to produce results and grow each and everyday.

as i said i above, i love my wife and i owe so much to this beautiful woman. my wife was best teacher, i have learn so much from her. she was also so Patience with me, i did not knew when i meet her and then i moved in with her how difficult it would be to be a husband, a stepfather of 5 kids, ages 5 to 11 yrs old at the time. i was no way at all ready for it. i taught i was and i convince my self time and time again that i could do this when in reality i couldn't. perhaps because i wanted all the joy and pride from it but without working hard at it. too many times i watched as my wife cry her heart out to me because i would not listen to her. she would talk to me about our issues and i would pay attention but ignore them because in the end i would just listen or pretend to listen but not do anything about it. this went on for about 3 to 4 yrs. many times my wife threw in the towel and called it quits. we would be OK for about 3 days and then spend the next 7 days fighting over the same thing. my lack of commitment to the relationship. many of those times when my wife would throw in the towel and called it quits i would ask and begg for forgiveness, i would convince her to give me one more chance that i would change that i would make it all worth it and so for. many times looking back now i realized that i did it perhaps out of not wanting to loose. i hate to loose so for a long time i look at our marriage as a game that i could have not loose nor did i not wanted it. i knew i loved my wife I'm my own special way but i did not knew really what love was. now that so much has passed now is when i realized how much my wife has loved me from day one till now and how much i have love her as well.

finally at the end of year 4, i begging to changed for the better, something woke up in me. god begging to work on me. although i know that god has always been working on me it was until that time that i finally decided to let the door open so he could come in. i begin to spend more time with the kids, i finally started it to realized what an amazing gift it was to have them with me. ( my wife and i lost 2 kids due to miscarriage) so after all that time of me not wanting to be involved in my step kids life i did. by the way i hate the word step. so i refer to my wife's kids as my kids. so that may throw you off OK as i tell story's here with you. also during this time i begging to spend more time with my wife. our love really Begin to grew, little by little. we started to want to attend church but did not really got around to do it. but i knew that i should. i felt comfortable, stable, happy. but even then i began to think that i knew what love was, but yet was still wrong.

its taking me almost all this years together with my wife and kids to understand what love is. almost 12 yrs. so what is love. well its easy its the ability to put others first and your self last and for the vast mayority of the time that's what my wife did for me and the kids. that is love. that's why i say that my wife is my best teacher, because every step of the way when i screwed up, she was there waiting for me patiently, to help me raise back up. to assist me in understanding what had gone wrong and what need it to be change to make it work.
understand this, i was always responsible, i always have work hard, i always worry about putting food in the table for the family. for last 11 yrs or so i have been the only support that my family has. i don't say this to rubbed in or to boast me. no i say this to say that because of that i too often loose sight of what is really important in life and that is god, love and my family and too many times i chose to work to provide the family with some extra cash instead of having some downtime to provide the family with some real bonding time.

fast forward to now where i am today. i spend  time with my wife not much because we have alot going on. with work, my parents, my faith, with god. with having custody of my two grand kids and raising our 17 yrs old twin males and then worrying about our 19 yr old daughter who is about to have her 1st child. our 21 yr old daughter that it going thru a difficult time as well with her relationship. its difficult to balance it all. but thruout all my wife has been there every step of the way for me and for the family. now one of the things that i have began to do with my wife is to clean the kitchen on friday nights. thats how we spend time together. we go to church and spend time with the blessed sacrament when we can, we go to the gym when we can and we go out when we can. again right now its all about the kids and grand kids. ( we called our oldest kids, kids too. because for us no matter how old they are they are still kids) so just for fyi. we have 5 kids ages 25, 21, 19, and twins boys 17. but soon we pray my wife and i will have time for each other. so i can repay her all the kindness, all the love, all the joy, all the tears, all the heartaches, all the good things and bad things that i have put her thru. because in the end my wife has showed me what love is and i cant wait to showed her how much i love her and our entire family.

Servant of Jesus thru Mary.

Carlos Napoles.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Its is truly a joy to write about this experience that happen to me recently. regarding Catholic Men's Fellowship of California.

let me set the scene for you... ill make it short hopefully and sweet. i have been soul searching for a group of individuals that i can be apart of. since a few months ago i was and have been going thru some really dark days spiritually. while surfing the web at night on a Thursday night the holy spirit took me to the website for Catholic Mens Fellowship of Pico Rivera. i saw that they were having a one day men's retreat, on early Saturday morning. i made a decision to go and it was an amazing day. i was so impress with this group of men that it left me thirsty for more.

fast forward to now, i have been looking for this type of group here locally in my hometown of Bakersfield ca. finally i was able to attend a meting, now this guys don't joke around, they meet at 6:30am on a Saturday morning. i remember the night before i had butterfly's on my stomach, i couldn't sleep, i was afraid that i was not going to get up, i was wondering how the meeting would be etc. its almost like i was a kid waiting for a big surprise.

well i made it to the meeting and man oh man was i surprised. as soon as i walked into the hall where the meeting was being held, the men who saw me knew it was my 1st time there and they immediately started it to introduce them self's, shook my hand and just made it me feel so welcome. you would think that i met these guys years ago and not minutes ago. i was sitting in a corner end table and i had the entrance door within my direct eye sight. so as every guy started it to walk in all were shaking my hand and introducing them self's and starting conversations and oh man it was so great. we chatted for a bit, then move onto breakfast and then the brothers open up the floor for sharing.

i have to say, its it truly a joy. a happiness, a super amazing feeling to have and to receive from god. because right there i can share with other catholic men that want to not just follow god but to love god and to give them self's to him completely. i knew that there were other men out there but i did not knew who they were. to be there in the room with so many dedicated god loving brothers inspired me to want to continue to grow in my faith and to continue with my journey. i can tell you some many stories from this meeting but i want to rather emphasize this.

we men need a support group like this. we need each other to encourage each other to pray for each other and to share with each other. if you are struggling with your faith, god, family, friends. if you feel like you are all alone and no one is there to support you in your journey. then i invite you to look for a group of men like this.

i have attended two meetings on this month for two different parishes St Joseph and St Francis, and i can tell you that my wife noticed that when i return home i was more at peace. i was more joyful and hopeful. i cook breakfast for my family, help clean up the house, did some chores. all weekend i was like i was floating on air and walk in on air. the holy spirit does surely touch you if you are open to receive him and you are willing to go out there and seek the fellowship.  

As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens his fellow man. proverbs 27:17. 

will you be willing to trust the holy spirit and let him lead you? i hope and pray that you will! 

God loves you!

Carlos Napoles 

Servant of Jesus Christ thru Mary! 

Thursday, December 6, 2012

what the heck is advent?

hello brothers and sisters in Christ. its is truly an honor to be able to write to you again, well the title of this blog is what the heck is advent?

well don't worry this is going to be fun and simple.

well as you know this past Sunday December the 2nd was the begging of advent season on the catholic church. what does that means, well is simple. advent means a time to prepare for what is coming ahead. that all sounds pretty simple right. every Sunday during advent the church will light up one candle to celebrate something special every week. the 1st Sunday is hope, the 2nd Sunday is peace, the 3rd Sunday joy and the 4th is love. so every week we are supposed to celebrate and keep reminding us to apply the theme of the week in our daily lives. that is one of the many things to do in advent. the other thing that i wanted to emphasized is that we need to prepare for Christ to be born on the DEC 25th. well what is that mean, again is simple. think of it like this.

if you are dating now or think to back in the day when you were dating your wife or husband to be. what you guys used to do before going out on a date. 1st you talked about it, then you set up a day and pick up a place to go, something to do, eating, movie night, walking, or whatever.  you wanted it to do something with your special someone. then you were all anxious the week before the date. thinking about what to wear, for us men we got a hair cut, shave, bought some expensive cologne stuff like that. women well, went to the salon, for hair, make up, to get the nails done, bought clothes, shoes all of that. then when it was time for the date, we got ready, took a shower, got all fixed up. you drove somewhere to meet up or pick each other. and up until then we were all stressed out. finally once the date began it was all smooth from there. whatever activities were done they were fun and at the end of the day it was an amazing one. telling each other, hey lets do this again... sounds well to familiar.

well if you switch this to advent, this is the same thing. that is what advent is. we are waiting for the coming of our savior Jesus Christ. that's is it, but however this is so much more at the same time. why well. instead of getting ready on the outside we must get ready on the inside. we need to clean our souls, our minds our hearts. we don't need to and buy clothes, shoes, accessories. you don't need to go all out just for the heck of impressing someone. all you have to do is go back to church, if you are catholic and your have your sacraments, well what are you waiting for! go to confession. start fresh, so you can too receive our lord in the Eucharist as well as to receive him in your heart. that's is the meaning of advent. its a time of preparation, reflexion, prayer, alms giving, sacrifice and then on the 25th its celebration time....

you see our holy mother church goes to different seasons thru out the year to celebrate different events in the life of our lord Jesus Christ. for us Catholics, advent is the beginning of it all. so this is huge!

so come on what are you waiting for, get up go to church, call your local priest, schedule an appointment for confession, or walk in to the church and just stand in line. go to mass on Sunday's and while you are at it. dust off all the dirt that has been collecting for years on your bible, crack the pages open. let our lord be your personal guide thru the scriptures. open your heart, mind, soul and be hungry for our lord Jesus Christ. once you do your confession, do your penance. stand up to received the body. blood soul and divinity of our lord Jesus Christ. and i promise you, You will feel the love, passion, forgiveness, hope and joy that god has in store for you and your loved ones.

if you are not catholic, DON'T PANIC ITS OK!,  i want to personally extended an invitation for you and your loved ones to come and worship with us in on one of our many Sunday masses. although you wont be able to participate in the sacraments for now. attending mass its a very good 1st step towards Christ and his bride holy mother church. from there i invite you personally to approach your local church and inquire about RCIA classes. Right of Christian Initiation for Adults. its basically a program that will teach you all about the sacraments, Catholicism, the love of Christ thru the scriptures, church and sacred tradition and sacred scripture and so much more. but in the mean time if you are looking into the catholic faith and want to know more. hit me up and ill try to help you the best i can.


Carlos Napoles

Servant of Jesus Christ thru Mary!

Monday, October 8, 2012

What kind of Christian am i ?

October 8, 2012

What kind of Christian am I ?

This was the question that my mentor Rick, asked me during one of our bible meetings. It’s a question that at first does not really relay the importance of the meaning of the question. I remember writing the question and that was it. Days later when I remember that I had to write about it I started it to ponder it and  the more I asked myself  that question the more I did not knew what the answer was… 

I did not ask my mentor for an example nor did i wanted it to know. it was an odd question one that perhaps i have heard before but not really paid attention to. i started to look deep into my soul, my actions, my words, my sins, my successes and my many many disappointments. the more i look the more i became disgusted with the person that i saw, how can i have left my self get so low, how was it possible that i have renounce Christ so many times ( meaning when i commit sins instead of doing whats right) when he give his life for my salvation. i did not wanted it to write this paper, however when i sat down and discuss this with my wife something came over me and i started it to remember all the things i used to do when i was a kid for God. ( or should i say all the things that my mom made me do because most of the time i did not wanted it to do them ) 

I remember when i was little i was very sick i had heart issues and my mom ask for saint martin de porres ( st martin of the poor as i have heard some people mention him ) intercession and promise that if was healed of my heart issues, that my mom would dress me to look like st martin de porres for a couple of years for thanksgiving for the favor received. well i did get better and i did ended up getting dress like st martin for a while. i also remember that used to participate in the town local festivities in honor of the blessed mother and st Joseph and i used to play the part of st Joseph. also during holy week i used to play in the passion of Christ as an apostle, i don't remember who i was but i remember being there in church participating in the last supper and all of that.

when i was 7 or 8 yrs old i started it attending Eucharistic adoration of the blessed Sacrament. my brother and i were regular attendants. we attended for so many years that my bro and i became sort of like leaders of the group, assisting the new guys coming in and helping to learn the prayers. the first few years i did not like it at all. we would have to go once a month on Saturday and spent all night Saturday from 7pm till 7 am in church praying. the latter years i do miss much now that i think about it, there were Manny good times there. last time i attended i was 14 yrs old. 

fast forward 14 yrs latter, i meet my wife when i was 20-21 yrs old. sorry honey if you are reading this, you know i suck at remembering anniversary dates... we spent many years both far away from church but in touch with God if that makes any sense to you. think of it like we used to pray when there was something bad going on but were not attending mass or doing any worship services. we even explore the protestant services once and watched many on television for many years. finally about when i turned 28 yrs old or so i remember getting kick in the gut and having the same feeling that i have today as i ask my self this question. What kind of Christian am I ?

however when i was 28 it was more of God calling my name and me feeling pull in his direction. i did not knew why but i decided to follow him. slowly but surely i begging to drag my wife and 5 kids to mass on Sundays. it was a mess i hated it Sundays because i wanted to be at mass in peace but by the time i got to church i was so pissed because the kids did not wanted to get up, they all wanted to shower at the last minute, we were late, the kids couldn't or not wanted it to find their clothes, i guess it was their way of saying we don't want to do this. my wife raised her kids before i meet them without having God as a priority in their life. so i can looking back now understand why it was such a mess on Sunday. plus I'm talking of dealing with kids ages 13 to 18 yrs old or so. finally after a year or two things were much smoother and i remember being able to received more from mass every time we went. not much changed for a while, we pray as a family every once in a while, at dinners too. but things were slow to changed. however i was changing more faster than what i could see. 

soon i was praying more, was happy more, was at peace more. difficult situations did not seem to disturbed me to much. i knew God was in control all thru out. i would fall here and there but i would get up much faster too. i attended bible study, i volunteer in church, i did what i could to help other people that need it help. ( i wont go into detail because God said don't let your left hand know what the right is doing ) and remember feeling good when helping others. my attitude changed, my purposed on life was clear and my life was fuller. my mission was to serve my Lord, my family and my church... 

now fast forward 5 yrs to where i am today, a lot has happen i remain faithful to continue to know about God, His truth and his word. alot has happen and my faith has been tested time and time again and i have grown weaker in my faith, my prayer life, my commitment to God. raising teenagers, young adults and now grand kids ( at 33 yrs old ) has not been easy. so many times i have ask my self whether i really understand what is God purposed in my life, i don't question whether God is right or wrong i question whether i listen to Him correctly or not. i question whether im a good dad, a good husband,  a good friend to my wife and a good son to my parents and a good brother to my siblings. i read somewhere once that st mother Theresa of Calcutta had some of my same struggles, some days she did not wanted to pray, she did not felt happy, or joyful, perhaps may be she felt lost like i do. however i remain puzzle at the fact that day in and day out she was able to carry her mission despite how she was feeling that day. 

knowing this about her gives me a great deal of hope, i am not alone there are others like me, but overall God is there for me i just have to make one choice, one action one word that would set me once and for all on the right path and that word is,YES to Christ! but on the other hand i let my feelings dictate what i do everyday if im joyful im on fire for God, if i am sad i don't really want to do anything like work, or pray or go to mass. i know that when im sad i should look for God more, i should want to be in His presence more not to want to leave his site. one thing is for sure, despite how much i talk smack about throwing the towel i really don't want it to. i love God, i love my family and my grand kids have giving me a whole different perspective on life, that is some of the stuff that helps to push me forward more everyday. i know that God has great things in store for me and my family, i have seen some of this things, God has spoken to me but like He says in the scriptures i am a man of little faith... 

so what kind of christian am i ? well the shortest answer would be i am a WIP. ( work in progress) Christian that is in a journey to learning how to let go and LET GOD! 

God bless you brothers...


Monday, March 26, 2012

No Time For GOD!!!!

in our daily life's we are so busy, between work, paying bills, raising kids and grand kids at the same time ( my case ) married life, our beautiful bride ( spouse ). there is hardly NO TIME for Jesus. it is so so easy to get caught up in the moment watching our fav show/s. on the internet watching the latest and greatest on sports and news and of course all the celeb gossip. and in between that cooking, cleaning and all the other things that are necessary to do to keep a household going. then by the time we look at the clock its 11 or 12 midnight and time to go to bed and tomorrow do it all again. we are operating on 4-6 hrs of sleep if lucky. but even though we have all the desire and intention to pray to God to spend time with Him, or to just sit and chat or to make devotion or to visit the blessed sacrament it just does not happen. we keep hoping for tomorrow and we promise to make time and we go on. but the truth is that most of the time it does not happen. we fall short time and time again. IM GUILTY of this. i do this all the time. some days i get better but most days i Fall Short. but here is the question. do we surrender, do we give up and say well i tried Lord but i couldn't do it so sorry. and just go on with our lives with the hope that in the end God will give us a d- for kind of sort of trying and he feels so much pity for us that he let us into his home The kingdom of heaven. NO I DON'T THINK SO, i don't want to take that chance. i want to continue to try to make time for God. i don't know how, ( i do but its hard ) but i must. cut off the tv, the comp, the distractions of the day and set aside sometime for God. i know that whenever i do it pays off. i feel good, if i have a horrible day it does not bring me down because i can feel Gods love thru all the bad. if i have a difficult issue at hand i put it on my fathers hands and he fixed it for me. i don't have to worry, i don't have to struggle i dont have to loose sleep over it God has my back. but men oh men when i fall short and i stop praying, or attending mass, or spending time with the Blessed Sacrament men things get hard. I don't blame God when things get though and its important that we don't. every time things get hard its an opportunity for prayer, for our faith to grow and for our patience to grow stronger and our love to grow deeper. dont be discourage because every time you try you have failed. Be encouraged by your failures because they will show you your weakness and then you can grow more spiritually and in love to Jesus Christ. so come on get up with me, lets walk again, lets start praying again, lets start hopping again and loving and trusting our Good Father in heaven again. He does not ask us for an impossible thing. YES WE CAN! YES YOU CAN DO IT! BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF AGAIN! and join me and so many others out there that are trying to and have successful begun are more personal and meaningful relation with Jesus and His Blessed Mother and His Holy Church. Amen Amen....

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Jesus and our children.

i was struck by something i saw a while back in my church, as i discussed before i have my two granddaughters living with me. one is 4 yrs and one is 2 yrs old. our prayer life at home is weak and i have been working with my family to make it more a part of our daily life's. its has been a difficult task to do because to convinced all my kids ages (23, 20, 18, and 17 old twins) that Jesus should be a priority in their life's is not as easy as it sounds. but here is what gives me hope. my wife and i have been teaching our 4yrs granddaughter to pray. simple prayers for the guardian angel and to bless her self at night. so we take the kids to church every weekend, one weekend we walked in and my 4 yr old was in front of me, as i open the church door, she walked in and there is a blessed water font by the door, she reached in there and took some blessed water on her fingers and she blessed her self in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. and i was stunned. i did not told her to it, i mean i had on other occasions but not this one. and to see that she gets it. now i mean she does not understand the theology of the church, the church teachings, or the sacraments. she understands that she needs to blessed her self when she comes in. i know that i have done a horrible job as a parent, i had a lot of time and opportunity to teach my kids about God and His love and teachings. but i screw up and i cannot take that back its done and i have to move on. however now that i somewhat have learn from my mistakes i can now see that it is possible to start teaching the kids at an early age about God, his love and his church. that is the foundation you can take to start building on, from there it will be a lot easier for them to know when they are growing up about God. however this is were all of us as parent failed and have continued to failed. we think things like. whats the point, they don't get it, does it really matter, does God really cares if i do or don't. But come on the reality is that he does. he said in the gospel of Matthew 19"14. let the children come to me. here it is in black in white. so yes it matters it is what God wants us to do it. so its time brothers and sisters to wake up and do more for our faith but primarily for our children's faith, after all their soul is at stake here. i know now that i cannot make the same mistakes i did with our other children, i know that i have to do something else to change all the wrongs i have done. and whats more important God is and will be there with me. i don't have the strength, will, passion, or knowledge to teach my grand kids and my kids about God but i have to trust that God will show up when i need to say something and explained to defend the Church and his teachings. in proverbs 3:5 says the lord, put your trust in the Lord and in your self Not! so I'm working in making a commitment to put my trust in the Lord and let him guide me and teach me and show me and from there the rest will be history. so don't be discourage to teach your small children or all your children no matter what ages they are. if you put your foot forward God will be there to guide you and that is his promise. God Bless you all and i pray for you that you will hear Gods voice in your heart.

Friday, December 9, 2011


I feel ashamed, what a title to start huh well read for your self and you will see why .this past Monday i saw something that made me really sad but extremely disappointed it. On my way to work in the morning i went thru my normal routine, getting my stuff ready, making sure i had my computer, notes, note pads pens, my coffee mug and all that. got in to my service van and it was a cold, cold morning,  i turned on the heater and Usually i don't wait for it to start heating the van but for some reason that morning i did. as i waited it a few minutes the heater started it to get the van warmed, i proceed it to get on the road. as i got into my main street, i was coming up to a green light and as i got closer i realized that there was a Man Walking in the middle of the main street, he had a long cane and immediately knew that he was BLIND and he somehow had gotten out of the pedestrian walk way and was now right in front of my van, the man had already started it to cross the intersection the light was green as i said, so i immediately put my flashing lights, completely slowed down my van and as i made an attempt to stop my van to get off and help this man i realized that there were cars coming behind me and if i did i was going to cause an accident, but at the same time i had this man just wondering on the lane not knowing where he was and where he was going. So i did the best thing i could do at the time, i follow him very closely i used my van as a shield in an attempt to protect him. he did not knew i was behind him, as all this was unfolding suddenly i realized that there were other people around standing at the gas station nearby or in their cars waiting for the lights to change but yet No One seem to know what to do or what may be more SAD no one Seem to Care. this whole story took a minute or two but in the midst of it all to me it felt like eternity, finally as this man finishing crossing the intersection a young man pull over and guide the poor soul back onto the side walk from there the poor man made it to a bench and waited for the buss where he got in and was on his way. As i pulled into the gas station I stayed in my van for a few minutes just thinking about the whole thing, i have not felt so sad in my life, here was a man's life in danger he could have got it hit by someone, he could have been killed! But yet the rest of the people around me except for the young man that help to the man back into the side walk, no one else seem to care at ALL. i taught if i should go introduce my self to the blind man while he was sitting in the bench waiting for the bus, so i could let him know of what had happen, but i did not wanted it to brag or did not wanted him to make me feel like hero. I felt SHAME because all i could do for him was to protect him while he walk across the street. I felt shame for all the people who saw this and did nothing, i felt shame that as human beings we don't react to the needs of others specially those who need us the most. I don't know this man's name and never will, i don't know if he was born blind, i don't know if he is married or has wife and kids or what he does for a living. But one thing is for certain He is some one's Family member. and someone would have been affected it if he was hurt! i went into the store got my coffee and i played all this in my mind for a few minutes, i realized i was taking my time today for this reason, God knew this was coming up, he knew that someone need it to be there to assist this man and it all worked out just in time. But also i taught this was a test by God to all those that were there at the intersection before i was. to all those who saw this as it happen before i did, all failed the test. Listen I'm not out to make my self a hero please don't look it this way. I feel ashamed even today because i think of all those time when i could had help someone and I CHOOSE to be on my way instead. Please don't be like those people sitting there going about their life's and miss the opportunities that God puts in front of you to help others. Please wake up and change your habits you never know how God will use you to affect the lives of others unless you Open up your self to God. Till this day i was just like you, busy, busy and busy. But after this I'm going to do what i can to stop and take more time to look around and see how is God trying to communicate with me and how he can use me to help others. Wont you do the same, I pray to God that you will. God Loves you.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Thanksgiving Time.

With only a couple of days left till we celebrate thanksgiving day here in America. Its time to reflect what I'm i thank full in my life or in this year. There is so much that has happen in my life in this year i dont even know where to start. Im thank full for my job, i went thru a change at work that has been interesting to say the least but at the end of the day im thank full that i have a job. Although my work hours have decline so much and that has brought financial challenges in our household we remain faithful that in the end things will work out the way Jesus Christ has it planned. Im Thank full for my family and i talking about my parents, brothers and sister, aunts and uncles and cousins that play such an important role in my life. My family inspires me to become a better person they remind me to stay humble and stay faithful in times of struggle and overall all they showed me they love me for who i am inside and that they don't want nothing for me in return. they just want to be apart of my life. Im thankful for the blessings in disguised that have come our way. this year we have been dealing with a situation at home with one of our children and that has resulted in having our granddaughters living with us. on one hand we are very sad, concern, not at peace and we pray that Gods will will be done and that soon our whole family will be reunited it again. In the meantime we have our granddaughters living with us and they are so great, so loving, so caring, so full or energy and laugh and giggles. they great me with all their heart when i come home from work and they want to be by my side all the time and that my friends that is the kind of love that you cannot buy with all the money in the world.... Im thank full for my wife she has been such a great inspiration for my life and a great supporter of mine. She has more faith than what i have and she can handle stress full issues better than i do sometimes. to my wife thank you i cannot repay you all that you do for me and all the you do that i dont see even if i want to see. I love you with all my heart. Im thankful to GOD for my kids altought a lot of time they are a pain in the you know what. because they are at the im soon to be an adult stage. so it gets pretty difficult to be able to reach them at their level. But deep down inside i see the good in all of them, despite what they show on the outside i know they have a good heart and that they are truly good kids all they have to do is allow God to work on their lives. Finally im so thankful to GOD for all the GOOD and BAD received this year. im thankful for the Good favors in my life BUT IM MORE THANKFUL FOR THE BAD. let me explained because yes it sounds crazy. i dont know what the purpose of the bad in my life is. i dont know what God is trying to tell me or teach me and i dont know that i will be ever know. But i have to put my trust in God that the knows what best for me and my family and man that is hard to do. All the bad some how will always teach me something i just need to know how to pick up on it. Plus going thru like financial difficulties will teach me to be a better Stuart of my money in the future. when there are difficulties that i dont have any control of  it is teaching me to turn around and put my trust in God and give the problem to him. i still have to make sure that i do what i can to make the situation better but when is out of my hand then i need to put it in GOD's hands and have that attitude in my life. But also during all the bad i can say that the is a great form of encouragement to drive me back to GOD and overtime i pray that i can find a way to stay closer to him and not to part ways all the time. P.S. Thank God for my bring to my life my brother Rick who is a great inspiration and a great example of where i want my life to lead me and the type of person i want to be. So in this thanksgiving  take time to recount your blessings and you will see how many you have and have bless you are...

Sunday, November 6, 2011

obedience to Christ.

I started  a new chapter in my faith life. I am now being mentor in the faith by a wonderful man that is very inspiring. we just started it a couple of weeks ago but as he is mentoring me thru the scriptures there is something that keeps coming up. Obedience to Christ. there is a lot of this in the scriptures. However in our current world Obedience has become a second class citizen. Our mentality including mine is i am in control of my life and i don't need to surrender my self to none one especially God. However if one can take a step back and consider this. We do need God in our lives and we do need to become Obedient. But we have to do it because we want to do it and Not because we have to. Our heart has to be in it as well as our mind. This is the difficult task, to think that we have to relay on a super power that we don't know personally or meet or can see or touch or feel to know that is for real. Yet Christ said to st Thomas the apostle "blessed are those who believe and have not seen" or something like that. Think back to all those times that something happen in your live that you cannot explain or offer a logical explanation for. The time you had a close call in a near car accident or some other accident. That was the hand of God that deliver you from that harm of from worse harm. But yet we all say thanks God and move on to never think about Him again up until the time when we need Him then we remember that he is there and that he exist. So what it is to be obedient? john 14:21 said say so clear it. " he who has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me and he who loves me will be loved by my father and i will love him and manifest my self to him." so not only are we to know what is good and wrong but God wants us to show that we can stay away from sins, from doing the wrong things to others, by coming closer to God, by raising our families with God in our home and in our hearts and by developing a special relationship with God and by doing so we are showing Obedience. Looking at it from that point it does not look so hard at all. Right!!!  Well then what are you wainting for, start today by doing something small and you will see that in a matter of time you will be doing bigger and better things and your faith will grow so much but overall You will feel the presence of God in your everyday life. So go on and make a change for the better after all your soul and your families souls are on the line!!!God Bless and God is GOOD.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Catholics Rock! Ask Jesus.: My thoughts.

Catholics Rock! Ask Jesus.: My thoughts.: So i have been thinking for a while to start a blog, but not really sure how to do it or anything like that. Im not a computer geek, no offe...

Catholics Rock! Ask Jesus.: youth catholic conference.

Catholics Rock! Ask Jesus.: youth catholic conference.: Hello everyone, So i attended a youth catholic conference this past weekend that was put up by the Dioceses of Fresno ca. the conference was...

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

youth catholic conference.

Hello everyone, So i attended a youth catholic conference this past weekend that was put up by the Dioceses of Fresno ca. the conference was giving in the visalia ca convention center. The theme of the conference was Mother Mary image of Truth! Here goes to show that God works in his own ways. i was not supposed to go to the conference, as i said it was for the youth, however my 3 teenage kids were attending and so i went to drop them off at church, to make long story short. My parish was in need of a driver so i filled in and drove a van to the conference. its about a 2hr drive from my parish to visalia ca. when i arrived i was amazed to see so many young teens there and see that they were actually excited to be there. Of course there were some teens that did not wanted to be there and some that went because their parents made them too. But overall there were many teens that were truly happy to be there. We ( my parish group of adult catechist teachers and chaperone's, along with our youth ) attended 4 works shops and mass and i got to say i got a lot from this experience. As i said i had no intentions on going in the 1st place but once there i left the door open in my heart and i ask Jesus to help thruout the day so i could learn something from the conference and so that i could use whatever i learn in my daily life. Now let me explain something really quick i was tired i had about 4 hrs of sleep, i drove a van full of hyper active students that made the ride interesting to say the least. so when we arrived to the conference i was beat, i was not in the best moods ever i was not angry but i was not full of joy either. But none the less i had to shake it off and ask for the Holy S. to work on me and like i said it did. There were some works shops related to teens dating, teens self respect, love, attitude, Responsibilities, how to live life the way God would wanted us to etc. I must say i picked up a lot from that talk. Even though it was supposed to be for teens i could see how i fail to do some of those things in life and with my family. There was a work shop about the Blessed Mother and St Juan Diego and the apparitions and i must say i was ashamed not to know some of the basics regarding that. After all i grew up in Mexico till i was a teen but there is so much to know about the Blessed Mother and St Juan Diego that talk inspired me to know more. According to the Religious Brother that gave the talk if one wants to have a more deeper and meaningful relationship with the blessed mother, a good place to start is in the gospel of Luke. Also by talking to her, asking her to take our prayers to her Son. To look upon us during the good and bad seasons in our life and to do what mother do Best. Be there for us to encourage us to do better for our self's and to show us that she loves us. So i have started to apply some of the things i learn during this past weekend and i definitely have opened up my bible to the Gospel of Luke. From here on it its up to me to continue to encourage my self to get closer to God and i know that God has the door open waiting for me to come in. All i have to do is make that decision to once and for all give my life to Christ and he will take care of me and my Family. The hardest part is to do just that to surrender my self, but its definitely a journey that i want to continue to walk on. WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! God Bless.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

My thoughts.

So i have been thinking for a while to start a blog, but not really sure how to do it or anything like that. Im not a computer geek, no offense to those great minds that know so much about the online industry and pc in general. You see im a mechanic by trade not a comp tech. But i felt move by God and specially the holy spirit to do this and a lot more. Recently my family and i came back to the catholic Church about 3 yrs ago or so and slowly but surely we been walking in our journey. sometimes easier for some of us and difficult for other members of my family. Catholicism is very though and very demanding there are so many things to follow and understand. Being Catholic is just not as easy as saying it. Hey im catholic! You have to be able to understand the teachings of Christ and its Bride the holy mother church and not only understand them but follow them as well. even though sometimes we just don't feel like it. But we have to trust God he knows what best, but like all things trusting God is a challenged for all especially for me. I would never thought that ill be where i am today, I saw my life as simple when i was in my early teens and now i see that God does have a plan for me and i have to trust him. I feel this very strong Call from GOD to do something great with my life for the purpose of bringing my brothers and sisters in Christ closer to him and welcome them home to Holy mother church. This is not so i become famous or a rock star this is so that i can some how some way inspired or move someone to walk with Christ. So Please come aboard and Join me but Specially Join Christ and pick up your cross and Follow God.