Love is Patitent!

hello brothers and sisters in Christ.

for my next piece i taught i share with you my thoughts on 1 cor chapter 13. the love passage i called it. we had this reading this past Sunday Feb 3 2013.

vs 4 to 7 Say's. "Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated,^d 5it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,^e 6it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things".

reading this verse but as well as reading the whole passage of chapter 13 we see that st Paul is trying to teach us what love is, how we must love each other as well as others. no matter if they are strangers or neigh boors, homeless or rich or poor.
i heard once a priest say that he used to ask young couples to describe what love was for them. some said that it was a chemical reaction. some said that it was a feeling. some said that it was an attraction for one another. some said that it was destiny....

then the priest would gone on to say, the following to each of the answers that were provided to him.

if love is a chemical reaction = be careful because it may explode.

if love is a feeling = be careful because feelings will die when the situation becomes tough,

if love is an attraction = be careful because you could be attracted to one thousand things that will lead you to sin and not to heaven so your soul will be on the line.

finally if love is a destiny = then what would you do when one of you guys passes away at a young age?

you see i too am guilty of this. i used to think that love was this that i just wrote. however the priest went on to explain that the theological virtue of love is. he would say that the theological definition of love was to love our spouses with all hearts and minds without waiting to received something in return as well as to assist them with living a life in accordance to god's law and good will. so that he may received them in heaven. but too often we look at love as a right, as a luxury or a thing to have so that we can be happy. but we don't want the bad, the ugly, the disappointments, heartaches, mistakes and so on. we just want what makes us feel good. that's how we look at love.
thru out my short time dating i used to look at love this way. it was until i meet my wife that i started to realized what love really is and what i need it to do as a men, father, husband to make sure that i can continue to cultivate the love and add all the things that love needs to continue to produce results and grow each and everyday.

as i said i above, i love my wife and i owe so much to this beautiful woman. my wife was best teacher, i have learn so much from her. she was also so Patience with me, i did not knew when i meet her and then i moved in with her how difficult it would be to be a husband, a stepfather of 5 kids, ages 5 to 11 yrs old at the time. i was no way at all ready for it. i taught i was and i convince my self time and time again that i could do this when in reality i couldn't. perhaps because i wanted all the joy and pride from it but without working hard at it. too many times i watched as my wife cry her heart out to me because i would not listen to her. she would talk to me about our issues and i would pay attention but ignore them because in the end i would just listen or pretend to listen but not do anything about it. this went on for about 3 to 4 yrs. many times my wife threw in the towel and called it quits. we would be OK for about 3 days and then spend the next 7 days fighting over the same thing. my lack of commitment to the relationship. many of those times when my wife would throw in the towel and called it quits i would ask and begg for forgiveness, i would convince her to give me one more chance that i would change that i would make it all worth it and so for. many times looking back now i realized that i did it perhaps out of not wanting to loose. i hate to loose so for a long time i look at our marriage as a game that i could have not loose nor did i not wanted it. i knew i loved my wife I'm my own special way but i did not knew really what love was. now that so much has passed now is when i realized how much my wife has loved me from day one till now and how much i have love her as well.

finally at the end of year 4, i begging to changed for the better, something woke up in me. god begging to work on me. although i know that god has always been working on me it was until that time that i finally decided to let the door open so he could come in. i begin to spend more time with the kids, i finally started it to realized what an amazing gift it was to have them with me. ( my wife and i lost 2 kids due to miscarriage) so after all that time of me not wanting to be involved in my step kids life i did. by the way i hate the word step. so i refer to my wife's kids as my kids. so that may throw you off OK as i tell story's here with you. also during this time i begging to spend more time with my wife. our love really Begin to grew, little by little. we started to want to attend church but did not really got around to do it. but i knew that i should. i felt comfortable, stable, happy. but even then i began to think that i knew what love was, but yet was still wrong.

its taking me almost all this years together with my wife and kids to understand what love is. almost 12 yrs. so what is love. well its easy its the ability to put others first and your self last and for the vast mayority of the time that's what my wife did for me and the kids. that is love. that's why i say that my wife is my best teacher, because every step of the way when i screwed up, she was there waiting for me patiently, to help me raise back up. to assist me in understanding what had gone wrong and what need it to be change to make it work.
understand this, i was always responsible, i always have work hard, i always worry about putting food in the table for the family. for last 11 yrs or so i have been the only support that my family has. i don't say this to rubbed in or to boast me. no i say this to say that because of that i too often loose sight of what is really important in life and that is god, love and my family and too many times i chose to work to provide the family with some extra cash instead of having some downtime to provide the family with some real bonding time.

fast forward to now where i am today. i spend  time with my wife not much because we have alot going on. with work, my parents, my faith, with god. with having custody of my two grand kids and raising our 17 yrs old twin males and then worrying about our 19 yr old daughter who is about to have her 1st child. our 21 yr old daughter that it going thru a difficult time as well with her relationship. its difficult to balance it all. but thruout all my wife has been there every step of the way for me and for the family. now one of the things that i have began to do with my wife is to clean the kitchen on friday nights. thats how we spend time together. we go to church and spend time with the blessed sacrament when we can, we go to the gym when we can and we go out when we can. again right now its all about the kids and grand kids. ( we called our oldest kids, kids too. because for us no matter how old they are they are still kids) so just for fyi. we have 5 kids ages 25, 21, 19, and twins boys 17. but soon we pray my wife and i will have time for each other. so i can repay her all the kindness, all the love, all the joy, all the tears, all the heartaches, all the good things and bad things that i have put her thru. because in the end my wife has showed me what love is and i cant wait to showed her how much i love her and our entire family.

Servant of Jesus thru Mary.

Carlos Napoles.

Its is truly a joy to write about this experience that happen to me recently. regarding Catholic Men's Fellowship of California. http://www.catholicmen.org/

let me set the scene for you... ill make it short hopefully and sweet. i have been soul searching for a group of individuals that i can be apart of. since a few months ago i was and have been going thru some really dark days spiritually. while surfing the web at night on a Thursday night the holy spirit took me to the website for Catholic Mens Fellowship of Pico Rivera. i saw that they were having a one day men's retreat, on early Saturday morning. i made a decision to go and it was an amazing day. i was so impress with this group of men that it left me thirsty for more.

fast forward to now, i have been looking for this type of group here locally in my hometown of Bakersfield ca. finally i was able to attend a meting, now this guys don't joke around, they meet at 6:30am on a Saturday morning. i remember the night before i had butterfly's on my stomach, i couldn't sleep, i was afraid that i was not going to get up, i was wondering how the meeting would be etc. its almost like i was a kid waiting for a big surprise.

well i made it to the meeting and man oh man was i surprised. as soon as i walked into the hall where the meeting was being held, the men who saw me knew it was my 1st time there and they immediately started it to introduce them self's, shook my hand and just made it me feel so welcome. you would think that i met these guys years ago and not minutes ago. i was sitting in a corner end table and i had the entrance door within my direct eye sight. so as every guy started it to walk in all were shaking my hand and introducing them self's and starting conversations and oh man it was so great. we chatted for a bit, then move onto breakfast and then the brothers open up the floor for sharing.

i have to say, its it truly a joy. a happiness, a super amazing feeling to have and to receive from god. because right there i can share with other catholic men that want to not just follow god but to love god and to give them self's to him completely. i knew that there were other men out there but i did not knew who they were. to be there in the room with so many dedicated god loving brothers inspired me to want to continue to grow in my faith and to continue with my journey. i can tell you some many stories from this meeting but i want to rather emphasize this.

we men need a support group like this. we need each other to encourage each other to pray for each other and to share with each other. if you are struggling with your faith, god, family, friends. if you feel like you are all alone and no one is there to support you in your journey. then i invite you to look for a group of men like this.

i have attended two meetings on this month for two different parishes St Joseph and St Francis, and i can tell you that my wife noticed that when i return home i was more at peace. i was more joyful and hopeful. i cook breakfast for my family, help clean up the house, did some chores. all weekend i was like i was floating on air and walk in on air. the holy spirit does surely touch you if you are open to receive him and you are willing to go out there and seek the fellowship.  

As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens his fellow man. proverbs 27:17. 

will you be willing to trust the holy spirit and let him lead you? i hope and pray that you will! 

God loves you!

Carlos Napoles 

Servant of Jesus Christ thru Mary! 

what the heck is advent?

hello brothers and sisters in Christ. its is truly an honor to be able to write to you again, well the title of this blog is what the heck is advent?

well don't worry this is going to be fun and simple.

well as you know this past Sunday December the 2nd was the begging of advent season on the catholic church. what does that means, well is simple. advent means a time to prepare for what is coming ahead. that all sounds pretty simple right. every Sunday during advent the church will light up one candle to celebrate something special every week. the 1st Sunday is hope, the 2nd Sunday is peace, the 3rd Sunday joy and the 4th is love. so every week we are supposed to celebrate and keep reminding us to apply the theme of the week in our daily lives. that is one of the many things to do in advent. the other thing that i wanted to emphasized is that we need to prepare for Christ to be born on the DEC 25th. well what is that mean, again is simple. think of it like this.

if you are dating now or think to back in the day when you were dating your wife or husband to be. what you guys used to do before going out on a date. 1st you talked about it, then you set up a day and pick up a place to go, something to do, eating, movie night, walking, or whatever.  you wanted it to do something with your special someone. then you were all anxious the week before the date. thinking about what to wear, for us men we got a hair cut, shave, bought some expensive cologne stuff like that. women well, went to the salon, for hair, make up, to get the nails done, bought clothes, shoes all of that. then when it was time for the date, we got ready, took a shower, got all fixed up. you drove somewhere to meet up or pick each other. and up until then we were all stressed out. finally once the date began it was all smooth from there. whatever activities were done they were fun and at the end of the day it was an amazing one. telling each other, hey lets do this again... sounds well to familiar.

well if you switch this to advent, this is the same thing. that is what advent is. we are waiting for the coming of our savior Jesus Christ. that's is it, but however this is so much more at the same time. why well. instead of getting ready on the outside we must get ready on the inside. we need to clean our souls, our minds our hearts. we don't need to and buy clothes, shoes, accessories. you don't need to go all out just for the heck of impressing someone. all you have to do is go back to church, if you are catholic and your have your sacraments, well what are you waiting for! go to confession. start fresh, so you can too receive our lord in the Eucharist as well as to receive him in your heart. that's is the meaning of advent. its a time of preparation, reflexion, prayer, alms giving, sacrifice and then on the 25th its celebration time....

you see our holy mother church goes to different seasons thru out the year to celebrate different events in the life of our lord Jesus Christ. for us Catholics, advent is the beginning of it all. so this is huge!

so come on what are you waiting for, get up go to church, call your local priest, schedule an appointment for confession, or walk in to the church and just stand in line. go to mass on Sunday's and while you are at it. dust off all the dirt that has been collecting for years on your bible, crack the pages open. let our lord be your personal guide thru the scriptures. open your heart, mind, soul and be hungry for our lord Jesus Christ. once you do your confession, do your penance. stand up to received the body. blood soul and divinity of our lord Jesus Christ. and i promise you, You will feel the love, passion, forgiveness, hope and joy that god has in store for you and your loved ones.

if you are not catholic, DON'T PANIC ITS OK!,  i want to personally extended an invitation for you and your loved ones to come and worship with us in on one of our many Sunday masses. although you wont be able to participate in the sacraments for now. attending mass its a very good 1st step towards Christ and his bride holy mother church. from there i invite you personally to approach your local church and inquire about RCIA classes. Right of Christian Initiation for Adults. its basically a program that will teach you all about the sacraments, Catholicism, the love of Christ thru the scriptures, church and sacred tradition and sacred scripture and so much more. but in the mean time if you are looking into the catholic faith and want to know more. hit me up and ill try to help you the best i can.

sincerely

Carlos Napoles

Servant of Jesus Christ thru Mary!