God is Awesome! what a great title to start my newest blog and you will see as you read thru it, why i make that statement. First of all Thank You Jesus! for all the blessings received. Its has been a while since i wrote my last blog. a lot has change since and i thank Jesus for it all. I am now teaching the teens in my parish catechism to prepared them for their first communion. i have a new job and its going great i am getting more hours and have notice that i am more stress free! thank you Jesus!
The last few months have been a roller coaster ride to say the least, i have been feeling down a lot in my faith. struggling to trust Jesus that He in the end had a better plan for me. you see im like many of you. when i struggle i expect Jesus to come and rescue me right away. its almost like a 911 syndrome. im in trouble and i called LORD, LORD come and help me and i expect Jesus to come walking in my life right there and then and save me and He does not. At least i think or believe in those moments that He doesn't. But i know better He is always with me. I know its a cliche right we all here, God loves you, God is always with you, God wants you, etc etc. I think that the reality is that we have heard this so much and we continue to hear it that it almost looses its meaning. So we tend not to care about it as much as we should. My self included it.
But what i have learn so many times is that EMMANUEL Is With Us. God is truly with us, during happy times as well as difficult times. It becomes hard, difficult, confusing or frustrating that we struggle and we continue to struggle perhaps with the same issue/s or different and it seems that we can never catch a break. But if we struggle is because our own faults, Not Gods. We struggle because we make everyday decisions that separate us from God more and more. We don't realize how far from God are we till we struggle. How much we need God in our life's and How great is His love for us. In my life for example, we have been struggling financially for a while now. Perhaps about a year now, to the point were things got really really unconformable, we were borrowing money trying to make things work. The lack of work made it, even more stressful because it became more and more difficult to pay back what we had borrow the week before or so. To the point that we were behind in all of our bills. I threw the towel so many times and was mad and angry. Not so much at God but at my self for not seeing Gods plan for me. You see the year before this struggle i had gotten a few job opportunities without me looking. People were coming to me asking me to come work for them. Now don't get me wrong, i am not saying im superman at my job, but i am a pretty decent worker so i guess words gets around. But without knowing that were going to struggle so much financially i passed on those opportunities thinking naah. We are ok at work, yes we are slow but things are going to turn around. But they did not and so the struggle began.
But thru it all we continue to attend mass, continue to do prayers. But i have to say my prayers became shorter and shorter. I would say things like, God help me today. Lord Help me find work. Lord help me put food in my table. etc etc. when before i could really spend time in prayer during this time i did not. which is the reason i stop writing as well. i couldn't get inspire to write, i just couldn't. But as they say after the rain the Sun shine comes and oh sure it did for me. I got a phone call from my current employer, asking if i would be interested in doing an interview with them. Now in my own foolishness, i sort of said yeah sure but did not follow on it. Thought about it for a couple of weeks or so and then decided to call them and do the interview. I have to say that was a huge Blessing in it self. After the interview right there and there i felt this is it. This is were God wants me to go and i have been in my new job for two months now. Thank You Jesus!
But i also have to give thanks to Jesus! for kicking my butt and showing me some of the path that He wants me to go on at least for now. You see one of my many short prayers to God has been, Lord show me what you want from me? Show me what direction you want me to take with my spiritual journey with you and like they said be careful what you ask for. Because you might get it. Well its true, i had somewhat consider that perhaps Jesus wanted me to teach others about HIM. Now i have no masters degree or any formal schooling. I have been learning our true and rich faith, thanks to my brother in Christ Rick Lentz from http://www.brothertobrotherministries.com. Rick and i have been going threw some materials that have help me a lot and he has been a great blessing as well. But when my priest ask me if i wanted to take on a class on my own teaching students preparation for their communion and i said Sure why not, so i did. I have to say i have great blessings all around me like my "compadres" ( co-parents ) Sergio, Odon, Juanita, Frank, Teo and his wife. All these people are now my sons and daughters godparents and they have been instrumental part of our life's and in my walk with Christ.
I love teaching my students, i know its only been two months but i absolutely love it. Its a big responsibility. One that perhaps i understand But not yet Fully Understand! I have to think about what i want to say to them and how to explain it. How to make the class fun and interesting and engage them to participate. I just dont want to teach them the faith i want them to be on fire for the faith. I want them to have Agape for Christ. so that one day they too can evangelize others. I want them to know what they have, who Jesus was and is for them. How much He loves them and wants them in heaven and so much more. I know this is only the begging of my walk with Christ, i know he has a lot more in store for me and perhaps on a smaller or bigger scale. I cannot wait till He reveals the rest of it.
Its going to take a while for our financial situation to become stable, we owe a lot. But the reality is that every day it becomes easier to give our worries to God and let Him take care of them. He always has, i am telling you. I can prove it, i just tend to panic and i don't see Him or feel Him. Jesus Love You! and He loves you with all the love in the world. Its impossible for us to grasp it but we must believe it. Because it is true. Trust on Jesus that He will help you, call on His name and don't let Him sleep. Bug him 24x7 with all your worries and anxieties and stress and difficulties. He can take them all, He really can!
But be prepare to make some changes in your life as well, just as we ask God to help us. We must also help our self's and come closer and closer to him. Other wise how can we expect to ask Jesus to help us if we are not Willing to love Him and walk with Him! Jesus did not promesses us that we were never going to suffer He did however promesses us that our suffering would be Joyful walking with Him!
Servant of Jesus thru Mary.
Carlos Napoles.
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