Love is Patitent!

hello brothers and sisters in Christ.

for my next piece i taught i share with you my thoughts on 1 cor chapter 13. the love passage i called it. we had this reading this past Sunday Feb 3 2013.

vs 4 to 7 Say's. "Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated,^d 5it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,^e 6it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. 7It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things".

reading this verse but as well as reading the whole passage of chapter 13 we see that st Paul is trying to teach us what love is, how we must love each other as well as others. no matter if they are strangers or neigh boors, homeless or rich or poor.
i heard once a priest say that he used to ask young couples to describe what love was for them. some said that it was a chemical reaction. some said that it was a feeling. some said that it was an attraction for one another. some said that it was destiny....

then the priest would gone on to say, the following to each of the answers that were provided to him.

if love is a chemical reaction = be careful because it may explode.

if love is a feeling = be careful because feelings will die when the situation becomes tough,

if love is an attraction = be careful because you could be attracted to one thousand things that will lead you to sin and not to heaven so your soul will be on the line.

finally if love is a destiny = then what would you do when one of you guys passes away at a young age?

you see i too am guilty of this. i used to think that love was this that i just wrote. however the priest went on to explain that the theological virtue of love is. he would say that the theological definition of love was to love our spouses with all hearts and minds without waiting to received something in return as well as to assist them with living a life in accordance to god's law and good will. so that he may received them in heaven. but too often we look at love as a right, as a luxury or a thing to have so that we can be happy. but we don't want the bad, the ugly, the disappointments, heartaches, mistakes and so on. we just want what makes us feel good. that's how we look at love.
thru out my short time dating i used to look at love this way. it was until i meet my wife that i started to realized what love really is and what i need it to do as a men, father, husband to make sure that i can continue to cultivate the love and add all the things that love needs to continue to produce results and grow each and everyday.

as i said i above, i love my wife and i owe so much to this beautiful woman. my wife was best teacher, i have learn so much from her. she was also so Patience with me, i did not knew when i meet her and then i moved in with her how difficult it would be to be a husband, a stepfather of 5 kids, ages 5 to 11 yrs old at the time. i was no way at all ready for it. i taught i was and i convince my self time and time again that i could do this when in reality i couldn't. perhaps because i wanted all the joy and pride from it but without working hard at it. too many times i watched as my wife cry her heart out to me because i would not listen to her. she would talk to me about our issues and i would pay attention but ignore them because in the end i would just listen or pretend to listen but not do anything about it. this went on for about 3 to 4 yrs. many times my wife threw in the towel and called it quits. we would be OK for about 3 days and then spend the next 7 days fighting over the same thing. my lack of commitment to the relationship. many of those times when my wife would throw in the towel and called it quits i would ask and begg for forgiveness, i would convince her to give me one more chance that i would change that i would make it all worth it and so for. many times looking back now i realized that i did it perhaps out of not wanting to loose. i hate to loose so for a long time i look at our marriage as a game that i could have not loose nor did i not wanted it. i knew i loved my wife I'm my own special way but i did not knew really what love was. now that so much has passed now is when i realized how much my wife has loved me from day one till now and how much i have love her as well.

finally at the end of year 4, i begging to changed for the better, something woke up in me. god begging to work on me. although i know that god has always been working on me it was until that time that i finally decided to let the door open so he could come in. i begin to spend more time with the kids, i finally started it to realized what an amazing gift it was to have them with me. ( my wife and i lost 2 kids due to miscarriage) so after all that time of me not wanting to be involved in my step kids life i did. by the way i hate the word step. so i refer to my wife's kids as my kids. so that may throw you off OK as i tell story's here with you. also during this time i begging to spend more time with my wife. our love really Begin to grew, little by little. we started to want to attend church but did not really got around to do it. but i knew that i should. i felt comfortable, stable, happy. but even then i began to think that i knew what love was, but yet was still wrong.

its taking me almost all this years together with my wife and kids to understand what love is. almost 12 yrs. so what is love. well its easy its the ability to put others first and your self last and for the vast mayority of the time that's what my wife did for me and the kids. that is love. that's why i say that my wife is my best teacher, because every step of the way when i screwed up, she was there waiting for me patiently, to help me raise back up. to assist me in understanding what had gone wrong and what need it to be change to make it work.
understand this, i was always responsible, i always have work hard, i always worry about putting food in the table for the family. for last 11 yrs or so i have been the only support that my family has. i don't say this to rubbed in or to boast me. no i say this to say that because of that i too often loose sight of what is really important in life and that is god, love and my family and too many times i chose to work to provide the family with some extra cash instead of having some downtime to provide the family with some real bonding time.

fast forward to now where i am today. i spend  time with my wife not much because we have alot going on. with work, my parents, my faith, with god. with having custody of my two grand kids and raising our 17 yrs old twin males and then worrying about our 19 yr old daughter who is about to have her 1st child. our 21 yr old daughter that it going thru a difficult time as well with her relationship. its difficult to balance it all. but thruout all my wife has been there every step of the way for me and for the family. now one of the things that i have began to do with my wife is to clean the kitchen on friday nights. thats how we spend time together. we go to church and spend time with the blessed sacrament when we can, we go to the gym when we can and we go out when we can. again right now its all about the kids and grand kids. ( we called our oldest kids, kids too. because for us no matter how old they are they are still kids) so just for fyi. we have 5 kids ages 25, 21, 19, and twins boys 17. but soon we pray my wife and i will have time for each other. so i can repay her all the kindness, all the love, all the joy, all the tears, all the heartaches, all the good things and bad things that i have put her thru. because in the end my wife has showed me what love is and i cant wait to showed her how much i love her and our entire family.

Servant of Jesus thru Mary.

Carlos Napoles.

Its is truly a joy to write about this experience that happen to me recently. regarding Catholic Men's Fellowship of California. http://www.catholicmen.org/

let me set the scene for you... ill make it short hopefully and sweet. i have been soul searching for a group of individuals that i can be apart of. since a few months ago i was and have been going thru some really dark days spiritually. while surfing the web at night on a Thursday night the holy spirit took me to the website for Catholic Mens Fellowship of Pico Rivera. i saw that they were having a one day men's retreat, on early Saturday morning. i made a decision to go and it was an amazing day. i was so impress with this group of men that it left me thirsty for more.

fast forward to now, i have been looking for this type of group here locally in my hometown of Bakersfield ca. finally i was able to attend a meting, now this guys don't joke around, they meet at 6:30am on a Saturday morning. i remember the night before i had butterfly's on my stomach, i couldn't sleep, i was afraid that i was not going to get up, i was wondering how the meeting would be etc. its almost like i was a kid waiting for a big surprise.

well i made it to the meeting and man oh man was i surprised. as soon as i walked into the hall where the meeting was being held, the men who saw me knew it was my 1st time there and they immediately started it to introduce them self's, shook my hand and just made it me feel so welcome. you would think that i met these guys years ago and not minutes ago. i was sitting in a corner end table and i had the entrance door within my direct eye sight. so as every guy started it to walk in all were shaking my hand and introducing them self's and starting conversations and oh man it was so great. we chatted for a bit, then move onto breakfast and then the brothers open up the floor for sharing.

i have to say, its it truly a joy. a happiness, a super amazing feeling to have and to receive from god. because right there i can share with other catholic men that want to not just follow god but to love god and to give them self's to him completely. i knew that there were other men out there but i did not knew who they were. to be there in the room with so many dedicated god loving brothers inspired me to want to continue to grow in my faith and to continue with my journey. i can tell you some many stories from this meeting but i want to rather emphasize this.

we men need a support group like this. we need each other to encourage each other to pray for each other and to share with each other. if you are struggling with your faith, god, family, friends. if you feel like you are all alone and no one is there to support you in your journey. then i invite you to look for a group of men like this.

i have attended two meetings on this month for two different parishes St Joseph and St Francis, and i can tell you that my wife noticed that when i return home i was more at peace. i was more joyful and hopeful. i cook breakfast for my family, help clean up the house, did some chores. all weekend i was like i was floating on air and walk in on air. the holy spirit does surely touch you if you are open to receive him and you are willing to go out there and seek the fellowship.  

As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens his fellow man. proverbs 27:17. 

will you be willing to trust the holy spirit and let him lead you? i hope and pray that you will! 

God loves you!

Carlos Napoles 

Servant of Jesus Christ thru Mary!